Healthy Tears

How Suppressing the Urge to Cry is Unhealthy for Your Body and Your Soul

I’m a Pisces. SO I’m a cry-er.

I was told I have been hysterically crying since I was a baby. As a baby, crying is our language, our way to express ourselves and how we feel. As we grow older, certain natural instincts become so suppressed that we no longer know how to innately feel. But crying is a part of life, and as you’ll learn scientifically, it can be a great natural way to self-heal.

                “I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying.” 

-Charlie Chaplin. 

                The body creates good and bad chemicals daily. Silently, our body is releasing hormones as a response to messages from our external environment that we are perceiving as emotions within ourselves.

When we are running late for work, our body releases the stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline in response to the emotion of fear from the feeling of being frantic. When we wake up early enough before work and we are able to sit down on our porch and watch the sunrise, and smell the fragrance of fresh-brewed coffee in our mug, the hormones of dopamine and serotonin are released in response to the emotion of happiness from the feeling of gratitude. All day long these chemical processes occur alongside a multitude of others.

                Humans are the only living creatures that have developed mechanisms in the body to deal with pent up emotions. Sometimes we find ourselves living too much in the first state described, in stress, and not enough in gratitude. Thus, our bodies become riddled with circulating stress hormones that can have many different side -effects on our health.

                We can become addicted to these hormones as they flow through our body making our body crave more, and thus, have us continuously living in states of anxiety and chaos. We can create areas of tension in our body that manifest into lower back pain or joint inflammation. Therefore, our bodies evolved to have multiple ways to purge ourselves of these toxic emotions and relieve us of our own by-products.

                Our skin sweats, our lungs breathe, and our eyes water. However, it is not just H20 that comprises our tears.

               Scientists have found we have three types of tears. The first being basal, that allows our eyes to remain moist, reflex, that occurs perhaps when we slice an onion, and lastly emotional. I imagine, evolutionarily, the latter was developed last, as primitive humans continued to adapt to circumstances that differentiates us from different species; our ability to process and express an emotional response.

                What allows us to differentiate between the three tear types is not just the trigger, but the composition of each tear.

                In the emotional tears, the process starts in our brain, in the cerebrum, where sadness is first addressed. The endocrine system then begins releasing hormones to the eye region that promotes tears to form in the tear ducts.

                Studies show that emotional tears are comprised of water, proteins, salt, fatty oils, and harmful chemicals that the body should release.

                "Emotional tears are unique in that they contain proteins and hormones not found in basal secretion or reflex tears…these 'additives' can have relaxing or pain-relieving properties that help regulate the body and return it to its prior state."- board-certified ophthalmologist Diane Hilal-Campo, MD.

          Returning the body to its prior state is all about homeostasis. Bringing back balance to our internal systems. As I have detailed in prior blogs, life is all about balance, and we need to be in balance within and without ourselves in order for us to be truly healthy mentally and physically.

                When we cry, it allows us to release those stressful hormones of cortisol and adrenaline, in our tears. That is why when researchers looked at the mood of those who just had a good emotional cry, immediately afterwards their mood was still sour, but within an hour or two, their bodies had adapted to their new state of being, one with a little less stress then before, which is proven to provide a multitude of health benefits.

                Psychologists have given a name to the feeling when people keep difficult feelings inside, it’s called repressive coping.

                Symptoms of repressive coping include a less resilient immune system, cardiovascular disease, and hypertension, as well as mental health conditions including stress, anxiety, and depression.

                Crying also proves to release our happy hormones called oxytocin and endorphins. These feel-good chemicals provide us with emotional and physical comfort along with ease. This self-soothing method triggers the parasympathetic nervous system which again, restores homeostasis, and allows our body to rest and digest, improving the functionality of all of our internal organ systems.

                It also boosts our mood. When you cry, you start breathing more fully as the body searches for a way to calm itself. This allows more oxygen to flow through your body that regulates and decreases the brain temperature and allows for healthy circulation of the oxytocin and endorphins your body is providing. Sometimes you’ll find that you are sweating during a harsh emotional cry, this is a result of an increase in heart rate therefore, your body naturally is ridding itself of the stress hormones through the skin and eyes simultaneously.

                So, when you suppress emotion or tears, you are suppressing your body’s natural processes; it produces the same negative results as if you never allowed yourself to pee when you felt the urge to go to the bathroom.

"A good cry is a cathartic release and often results in feeling lighter and having greater clarity when it's done," - Dr. Houseman

                Why do men have such a difficult time crying? Is it purely biological or societal?

                I believe it is a little bit of both. Researchers found out that women cry up to 3.5 times each month while men about 1.9 times. They claim this is due to men’s higher levels of testosterone and smaller tear glands.

                However, could this biological development just be a consequence of another emotion, shame? Men are so often criticized and shamed for crying and really any expression of emotion. I believe it is possible that there is a correlation between the increase of violence and anger amongst men as they persist in living with a potentially greater amount of stress hormones than women. Although there is yet to be enough research to back up this claim.

                I also believe there is something to be said about the increase of women’s emotional susceptibility once a month. I think the experience women endure every moon cycle allows us to process potential emotions we are all guilty of suppressing at one time or another. With all of us living such busy lives, stopping to fully experience an emotion can be a moment easy to bypass.

                Just keep it pushing right?

                Therefore, with women, I imagine that we cry heavily during this time as a way to purge ourselves of regressed emotions, therefore, freeing ourselves from stress hormone and loops of negative thinking. It is like a purifying ceremony for our body and soul, if you choose to surrender to it appropriately and not fight the natural processes.

                Men do not get to experience such a release. In addition, considering emotion and empathy are so closely intertwined to how we connect as a humanity, it may prevent men from being able to create deeper connections. As a society, we should work towards changing this narrative, and as women, continue to encourage the healthy expression of men in whatever way that looks like.

                Overall, feel no shame in laughing until you cry, tune into that one song that got you through it all, turn on that movie that gets you going every time; and just sit with yourself, process, and feel.